honestly.

I’ve found the hardest thing to do is to get honest with myself.  I’m not quite sure why this is?  It seems like I would be the perfect confidant.  giving and receiving wise counsel (to myself of course) seems like the most logical approach to the adage “you gotta take care of your own”.  its pretty easy to get honest with someone you trust.  in western civilization, the western church more specifically it seems over the years its become easier to ‘get accountable’ or ‘do life’ with a small group of people than ever before.  its not at all uncommon for even the most closed off of persons to have a regularly scheduled appointment where they can bare all and open up.  whether thats over coffee or a ‘bowl of onion-rings’.  

its even pretty easy to be honest with the Lord.  especially when we need something he has to offer. “help God I’m in a mess!!! look at me what are You going to do?!”  a familiar phrase to my lips.

so why then can we not get honest with ourselves? (jer. 17:9)

so what is it in my own life that I cant even see?

Isn’t it funny that most of the time when we are in close relationship with somebody, and I mean a close trustworthy relationship that we can see issues or problems that they can’t even see?  I’m not talking about being in close proximity with someone and judging them or weighing in on their problems and just talking about them to another.  but actually seeing into a persons struggles, their heart, and knowing they are completely blind to the fact that the ship is sinking and they are unaware. thats why it is so important to have trustworthy people around us.

so honesty is funny.  We want people to be honest with us.  And if we are following Jesus it should be on the forefront of our mind to let honesty be the rule and love the guide.  But when it comes to actually being honest with ourselves, its almost impossible.  Most of the time we are just kidding ourselves.  living with a blind spot and being ineffective.

I believe to “see” inside of ourselves it takes more than our own eyes and assumptions.  I believe this is when we need the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation the most, when it comes to matters of our own hearts.  That when we ask the Lord we would sit and wait for Him to show us what is in us. And then we would take the time to meditate on that answer.  

If I can’t be honest with myself and actually asses the situation within, how am I ever going to live a life of authenticity?  How will I ever be anything more than a man who “has a form of godliness, but lives denying its very power”? And how will the church ever progress to actually being relevant in our communities and not just talking about relevance?  

I believe honesty is vital for the well being of our souls, the relevance of ‘the church’, and the advancement of the Kingdom. Honestly.